Why You Can’t Always Trust the Voice in Your Head
Unless you are Morgan Freeman there’s a good chance the voice in your head gets on your nerves from time to time. All you have to do is tell it to shut the hell up and you’ll get a dose of just how neurotic that sucker can be. It’s your harshest critic, and likes to believe it’s in charge of shaping your view of the world. It’s like a sports announcer constantly commenting on everything, coming up with words and assigning meaning, and constructing what you believe to be reality. It’s a machine that runs all day and all night.
The good news is that the voice in your head is not YOU. Believing everything it says is a choice. The voice in your head is a bit of a drama queen. It needs to be entertained more than a 4 year old with ADHD. So it looks at the facts, invents a story and paints a picture with words. Sometimes the picture is beautiful and perfect. Other times it invents the worst of all possibilities. So don’t be quick to trust that neurotic little bastard.
The voice in your head doesn’t know how to cope with silence. It has this constant need to fill a void. It doesn’t get that you can’t paint a masterpiece on a cluttered canvas.
So you might be wondering how to silence it? It’s only in the pursuit of waves that I’ve managed to get it to shut the hell up, but that’s only for the briefest of moments. You really can’t silence it. But when you stop trusting everything it says, it will lose its power over you and the real you will emerge.
Say It, Be It, Live it and See It
“The Most Important Conversation Is the One You Have With Yourself” – Zig Ziglar
A few weeks back we looked at just how much a few words of encouragement can impact our lives. But what about our own words, the ones we use when we talk to ourselves and we talk to others? Words construct reality and are inseparable from your experience of life. Life is really in the language. Every single time you say something you plant a seed that could come to fruition in the near future. When you repeat that saying you water that seed. That’s why it’s so important that you choose your words wisely.
“As you label an object or situation so you behave towards it.” - The Three Laws of Performance
I recently wrote a guest post at another blog about why you should Focus on Who You’re Being instead of what you’re doing. Who you are being is something you have complete control of and when you act through the lens of who you’re being (assuming you’re not being a jackass) your actions are going to align accordingly and your results will be completely different. For a long time I’ve thought of myself as a blogger, and that held my ability to make income back. I recently decided to be an entrepreneur and something interesting happened. My reading list changed and even the articles that came across my radar started to change. I also have have found business models for what I do that I wasn’t seeing before. If you change who you are being the view will change and opportunities and experiences that you don’t will start to reveal themselves.
This is the part the trips most of us up. It’s the gap between being something and having something. It’s the place where nature rewards patience. The problem is that we’ve been conditioned for instant gratification. Fast food, fast cars, and every useless piece of crap at your disposal has resulted in this behavior that provides no long term fulfillment. The pursuit of happiness through material objects is a fool’s errand because it will never last. So how do we do this?
- Live your life as if you’re already the person you want to be
- Live your life as if you’ve achieved success. That doesn’t mean be lazy, just confident.
- Live your life as if you have everything you want. Gratitude will bring more and more int your life.
Several months back my friend Sarah wrote an amazing post about why the hard work is completely worth it. There was this beautiful section of it which I’ve included below:
I stopped, hands pressed up between the chain links, and stared at every inch of the project. My eyes mapped the walls, the colors, the paving textures, the lighting, the signs, the planting, the crevices, the trees. I knew instantly the parts that had changed from our original ideas, the plants that were new, the benches that had been cropped from their first iteration as cantilevered extensions from the wall, the art pieces that had been swapped last minute, the effect of the winter shadow from the towering buildings on the temperature of the concrete. I felt the building in all it’s dimensions, the lighting and skin entirely different than any two-dimensional drawing could capture, and I felt the size of the space, the thickness of the air. On the ground I saw what decomposed granite looked like in real life, what tree spacing rows felt like in vertical space, and whether or not my imagination from years’ before was accurate in picturing what we wanted to build. It was here.
I helped make something happen.
These moments–the moments of publication, of realization, of recognition, of creation–when something you’ve built in your mind and spent hours of energy on becomes real, tangible, concrete–are invaluable. And standing there, and now again here, today, words and drawings spread out all over the walls and tables and desks, I think briefly to myself:
The hard work is worth it.
If you’re willing to lay the foundation you’ll see your castle. Class dismissed.
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