Goals are a great thing. They give us something to shoot for, they give us new heights to reach to, but sometimes the process of getting to the goal is the very thing that gets in our way of achieving it. One interesting thing I observed is that however I tried to arrange words in the title of this post, the meaning was always negative:
- the endless misery of pursuit
- the pursuit of endless misery
- the endless pursuit of misery
- etc, etc.
This is because in the process of accomplishing our goal we basically decide to indulge in the misery of endless pursuit. Have you ever noticed that when you do actually accomplish a goal, the satisfaction is temporary, and eventually replaced by this burning desire to accomplish something else. In fact the only constant in our lives is change. One of the patterns you’ll notice in your life is when you stop trying so hard for everything, it has a tendency to flow into your life. I want to share three examples where this misery of endless pursuit impacts our lives:
1. Careers: Having just finished graduate school, this is naturally at the forefront of my mind. My best friend has always told me “What are you going to do, race to the death?” I’ve been really eager to start my post-MBA career, but the endless pursuit of the perfect job has made me quite miserable on certain days. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have a desire to advance in your career, but make sure you don’t do it at the cost of everything else in your life.
2. Relationships: Relationships are what started my entry into personal development. I pretty much sucked at them, had no idea why I couldn’t seem to find one, and thought that having a girlfriend would be the answer to all my problems. In fact, at point I was neglecting every other thing in my life because I was basically on an endless pursuit to meet someone. To add to that, it made me miserable, which was not even attractive. It’s when I gave up needing a relationship to be part of my life, that I seemed to easily end up in one. The satisfaction it provided was only temporary too.
3. Money: There’s no doubt that the majority of people who start to study personal development begin with the idea of making more money as there primary goal. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s important to note that personal development has much broader implications.
It was only over the last year that I realized personal development can really impact numerous areas of our lives, and when we only use it to focus on one area, then we rob ourselves of what personal development can do for us. Ironically, when you balance your personal development effort across all areas of your life, that’s when its effects tend to come into full force.
Technorati Tags: : goal setting, careers, relationships, financial success
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I have recently made myself miserable because of all three of those! For years at university I was having fun, but underlying everyone was the fact I was looking for someone so hard. It did make me miserable. I did end up meeting someone, but not where I was looking! But at the moment I have started to worry less about money. I don’t have loads of it, but I have enough to get by. My goal is to be happy and I am right now
Thanks for the insights.
I agree that personal development can affect so many aspects of our lives and when we open our minds to developing our lives as a whole (instead of one aspect)we really reap the benefits. I love what you wrote about the title of the post. It’s so interesting to see how reworking the words might change the meaning but it doesn’t change the theme of negativity.
Interesting point of view. As they say…it’s the journey you take to reach your destination that matters.
Yes, excellent!
Everything you list amounts to ANGST, and you’re so right, give up the angst of self-improvement, money, the perfect partner, spirituality, LOA–all of it, and just release into presence…and watch the world open up to you!