The Late Bloomer Syndrome | Riding the Waves of Personal Development

The Late Bloomer Syndrome

Written on September 30, 2010 by Srinivas in Uncategorized

2714129982 1fd67a19d1 The Late Bloomer Syndrome

When I wrote about 32 lessons from 32 years of life, I said that waves come in sets. I’m a late bloomer by most standards.

I didn’t have a girlfriend until I was 25
I started to come out of my shell around 27
It took until I was 32 (this year) to really hit a a stride in my career. Almost every boss I had wrote me off as lazy, or unmotivated. One of my particular favorites was the guy who told me that I didn’t seem like the type person who was interested in controlling my own destiny. (For those of who you who know me. I’d love to hear your comments on that). I really owe him for lighting that fire under my ass and making me realize that I’d never be truly in control of my own destiny as long as I was working for him.
My boss during my summer internship at Intuit wrote me off as the most selfish intern they had ever had. Thank God. Like I once said before I don’t even really enjoying paying taxes, so spending my career on a product related to it probably would not have been the right thing.

I’m surrounded by a bunch of 20-something Gen Y lifestyle designers all living on their own terms, and I’m on the path to doing the same. As a byproduct of the culture of expectations I’ve been brought up in, many of my friends are married, having kids, etc, etc. I find myself fighting my own demons about this from time to time. But the other day I came to one profound realization.

Life is sometimes like the second wave in a set

With the countless hours I spend living like a fish, I’ve noticed that more often than not, the second wave in a set is bigger and often better. In their desire to get on a wave as quickly as possible, a good amount of people will actually go for the first one. A handful will make it. The ones that don’t find themselves scrambling back to the line up so the second wave doesn’t pummel them.

I will usually wait for the second wave and because people are scrambling to get back to the take off point, there’s nobody in the way and the wave is mine for the taking. After that realization, I started to see my life and all its events as nothing more than the second wave in a set. Sometimes the fact that your goals in life take longer than originally expected is actually a good thing:

When I worked at Intuit, I got an hour of time with the CMO and unlike the undergrad interns I grilled him about how he got to where he was at. The most important thing the taught me was the he got passed up twice for a promotion when he was at Proctor at Gamble. However, he said the 2 extra business cycles he got to witness because of getting passed up ended up being one of the greatest advantages he had later on his career when was a leader.
If it hadn’t take me 8 months to find a job, then I might not have started this blog and been fortunate enough to benefit from the unexpected ways that this blog changed my life.

When your hopes, goals, and dreams are taking longer than expected, don’t discount the fact that you’re probably acquiring the wisdom to achieve goals and dreams far beyond what you can possibly imagine today.

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ian-robinson 5 pts

I used to laugh with my apple picking cohorts about the metaphorical use of catching waves and real life:

- Waiting for the right wave is like waiting for the right woman.

Sometimes you see a good one from far away but she doesn't turn out so great up close.

Sometimes you see two of them and you miss both because you can't decide which one you want.

Sometimes you jumpt the gun, go for her too hard and she ends up wiping you out.

This is a great post Srini. Your blog really gives me strength and I just want to thank you for taking the time to put your words to the blogosphere.

SALUD

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Erik Emanuelli @ Free Make Money Advice

Great post, thanks for sharing.

I am at the same age than you and I am in time of changes, a lot of changes.

Change is scaring to people, because you do not know that will happen in future.

But if you work hard, the results will come, sooner or later.

Laneth Sffarlenn

Perhaps it's a Gen-Y thing, but I've found many of us are having the frustrations that the older "gens" tended to have post-35 (generally speaking, of course).

Being 27, having not completed high school or any further studies, and being locked into a 9-to-5 that has been toxic longer than I've realised takes its toll but then I find that I'm not alone and that many people older than me tend to think that my own crisis that I'm experiencing now is premature, than I've not lived enough to be feeling this way.

Still, it's where I'm at right now, but thanks to folks like yourself and the countless others I've met online in the past year, whose ages stretch from 14 right through to late 70s and across various different niches / topics, I feel like things are finally looking up.

The most magical moment is when you experience that awakening from being a drone to suddenly becoming self-aware and have the abilities to become autonomous if you're willing to work for it.

Matt

I'm 41 and feel like in many respects the party is just starting. I'm still figuring out what it is I want to do. It wasn't too hard to figure out what I didn't want to do.

srinirao

Matt,

That's actually awesome and kind of a relief to hear. I feel the whole world is in such a hurry.

-Srini

Steve Thomas - fungeezer

Thanks for that, Srini! I am going through a lull now and sometimes it feels like everything has dried up. I know it isn't true, but it can feel that way. Hearing these words bounce around in my head helps! Thanks!
.-= Steve Thomas - fungeezer´s last blog ..Life By Design What Is The Benefit =-.

Kaja

Nice post! It's amazing how surfing offers so many good analogies to life and personal development :P

I think the best thing any person can do for self-improvement, is take up surfing.

Dan

Word Srini I like this one. I've found that traveling helps me to step outside of these odd sets of expectations. I mean, its a pretty localized phenomenon (both socio-economically, culturally, geographically) that you are supposed to be excelling as a corporate lap dog at x age etc, etc, sounds like you are really hitting your stride here :)

Dan,

Something tells me the more I break away from the rules and structure of corporate lapdogging, the more I'll really hit momentum. Everytime I listen to your podcast, part of me wants jump off a building because it sounds like you are living it up. After all your Bali podcasts I think it's safe to say my first destination when I've achieved digital nomad status will be Bali.

Anthea

Thank you - this is exactly what I've been needing to read for the past month or so.

Here's to second waves, and the stuff we learn while waiting for them!

Anthea,

Glad to help. I hope this has brought a bit more peace happiness to your life.

Kenji Crosland

Wonderful perspective Srini. I once read a book that said competence is actually the enemy of finding one's true path. If, for example, you're very good at logic and wrote memorization, you may become a doctor or lawyer (and excel at it). Because you're good at what you do, you don't spend the time finding out what you're actually GREAT at.

Kenji
I love that quote from the book. I think we spend way too much time on what we're good at rather than what we're great at. It's an unfortunate byproduct of living in a society where we have rewarded conformity for far too long. Now, the people who have conformed are getting their proverbial as#$#es handed to them because we are starting to value people who are creative and who can think much more.

Heather Solos

Srini, I like this post a lot. I'm also 32 and just figuring out what the heck I want. I'm in a very different place in my life than you (married, 4 kids), but career-wise it's similar.
I graduated high school young, I was 16 and burnt out trying to put myself through college.
Writing was never on my radar. I majored in Biochemistry and now the only chemistry I explain is that mixing household chemicals is dangerous. The only Biology I teach always includes avoiding salmonella and e. coli.
Then again, I think my life experiences, especially the broke as hell years, gave me a tool set and perspective I don't think I could have acquired in any other manner.
Since I started my site, I've fought the feeling of being behind, your post gives a great perspective.
Thanks.
.-= Heather Solos´s last blog ..Let’s Talk About the Voluntary Phosphorus Ban in Household Detergent =-.

Heather,

I love your chem and bio examples :). I have a degree in environmental econ and I don't think I'll ever use it. As far as life experience and the tools they gave you I completely agree with that. If hadn't gone through so many ups and downs in my life I don't think I'd be well equipped to deal with curve balls that life has thrown at me. I think I fight the feeling of being behind quite a bit, maybe almost too much. That's why I"ve been spending my time working through the Sedona Method stuff lately which has been really helpful.