Whether we want to admit or not, authority figures tend to have a fairly powerful influence on our lives and in many cases they have the ability to reinforce both empowering and limiting beliefs. These authority figures can exist in the form of parents, teachers, managers, and others. I’ve had a combination of authority figures who have reinforced both limiting and empowering beliefs. Let’s look at a few examples of these authority figures:
Authority figures that reinforce empowering beliefs
Music Teachers: My early music teachers had a level of belief and faith in my abilities far beyond my own. I still remember the day I picked up the tuba for the first time that my band director at the time told me I had would be stellar at the instrument and that I would make all state band. I never doubted him and he never doubted me. The influence that authority has on you at an early age is quite powerful. We tend to be quite impressionable when we are extremely young so it’s important to feel that everything and anything is possible. When I was talking to my best friend from college about her 1 year old daughter, she said “We figure if she wants to try, do, or be anything at all, artist, musician, dancer, whatever, why not? She should at least get the chance to try”.
College Entrepreneurship Professor: When I was in my junior year of college, through a scheduling conflict (i.e. not showing up for a class), I was dropped from a political science class and ended up in an entrepreneurship class. In this class, I discovered that I had a knack for public speaking. Doing presentations was second nature to me even though I had never really done any before. Two authority figures in that class reinforced my empowering beliefs. The professor told me I was a natural born salesmen. One of the venture capitalists who also came to the class saw my presentation of our business plan, and out of the whole class called me out on presentation skills as a stand out. I thought then and there I was meant to be in sales.
Authority figures that reinforce limiting beliefs:
Vice President of Sales at an employer: After spending two years on a team that had consistently performed above quota, I had a boss that on his way out the door threw me under the bus, and told the new vice president I was not cut out for sales. After this, he concluded that my boss was right and told me he didn’t think I was cut out for sales. All of a sudden my entire identity which I had built empowering beliefs about my career were shattered. Maybe he was right. I hated cold calling, I hated the pressure of a quota. The only part of selling I actually enjoyed was building relationships with clients and doing presentations. But he was an authority figure so he had the ability to influence my thinking in this area. Although, I wasn’t thrilled with his reaction towards me, he taught me to see the gift in every one.
Parents: Parents are a really tough one to wrestle with because they are the ones that have given us everything. They’ve sacrificed for us, they’ve done everything they can to ensure a high level of comfort in our lives. To add to that, their approval tends to mean alot to us, especially if we have siblings. So, coming to the conclusion that they sometimes have a tendency to reinforce limiting beliefs is not easy to accept. Yesterday I was shopping with my dad and having a discussion with him about successful people and the ones who make certain amounts of money, and his response was “Well, not everybody can make x million dollars. You shouldn’t have such high aspirations, otherwise you’ll just get disappointed.” After a somewhat heated argument on the way home, and sleeping on it, I realized that this is a protection mechanism. Parents don’t want to see their kids fail or be disappointed. My dad said it maybe it was a generational gap. I think it was also a cultural gap. But, this mind set actually keeps kids from taking chances, taking risks, and dreaming big. If you’re going to fail, why not fail at trying to achieve something big, rather than failing at something small? I’m not a parent, but if you are, I encourage you to teach your kids that anything and everything they want to accomplish is possible from an early age. Don’t place limitations on their imagination considering it was meant to be used without limits.
The Solution:
Why is it that authority figures have such an impact? Mainly, it comes down to approval. A sense of approval, while somewhat ego-driven is something we all strive for. The approval of our boss means more job security and the possibility of promotion. The approval of our parents gives us a sense of pride and accomplishment. The approval friends, members of the opposite sex, etc makes us feel good. But, we are not always going to have everybody’s approval. So, how do we solve this problem? If authority figures can have such an impact on us, then how can we use their impact to benefit us? In my interview on visualization with Steve Martile he mentioned incorporating authority figures into our visualization, and imagining them compliment, congratulate, and commend you on your success.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Great post! I love thinking about the idea of how authority impacts our lives. In some cases it can be great and in other cases it can be so limiting. Thanks for addressing both sides of it here!
It’s funny, I just wrote an article about limiting beliefs–haven’t posted it yet. Frequently, I see a confluence where many write about the same thing at the same time.
Great post! Thanks.