This morning I was at my parents house and in a room that my dad has converted to a library. It is probably more like a shrine to the accomplishments of me and my sister. There are pictures of us both at our Berkeley graduation and both our diplomas are on the wall. Then I came across something I had never seen before. It was called the student physicians’s oath. As I read it and all of contributions to society, humanity, and everything else that doctors accomplish I was overcoming by an unpleasant familiar feeling of inferiority and in my mind I started to hear thoughts like “Damn, your sister is in med school, and your own accomplishments don’t even compare. How can you possibly compete with that kind of greatness. She did better at Berkeley, she’s ahead….”
Comparison: In that moment I realized that my vicious power of my ego had started to kick in and when I stopped for a moment, and thought about it, I realized that comparison and competition can be really self destructive. I’ve grown up in a community where comparison is almost commonplace. Parents compare the accomplishments of their kids and their kid’s friends, and so we grow up with this comparison mentality almost by default. But, comparison is really a dead-end in so many ways. Sure it might give you something to reach for when you see what others have accomplished, but it’s when comparison is your drive that you get yourself into real trouble.
The reason comparison is so deadly is that there is ALWAYS somebody ahead and somebody who is behind. There’s always going to be somebody who’s better than you, or somebody who has more than you, or somebody who’s accomplished more than you. Even at the pinnacle of your success if you are the best at what you do, there’s always somebody right above, and right below you. It’s no-win battle. So, the only real constant is change. In the Skool of Life, there are no valedictorians, salutatorians, PhD’s, masters degrees, etc.
Competition: Competition is interesting. In the movie With Honors, Joe Pesci said something very wise to Brendan Frasier. He said “It doesn’t’ matter whether you win or lose, winners just love to run the race.” While healthy competition is good, it’s important to step back and realize our competitive nature has led humanity into some its darkest hours. The desire to dominate and control has been responsible for some of the most horrific acts of mankind.
In the Skool of Life, the only true accomplishment free of competition and comparison is enlightenment. It’s only in enlightenment that true freedom and success exists.
Tags: competition, success, goal setting, career success, life success, accomplishment
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I completely agree that enlightenment can only occur when you stop comparing and competing with others. Great post!