The Burden of Proof

Yesterday as I was surfing, I started to think about something a friend had told me about surfing just a few days ago. We were talking about big waves and the fact that I had no desire to surf 40 foot waves that could kill  you, and he said “yeah, me either. That’s the great thing about surfing. It’s not about proving anything, just about enjoying it.” It had been about three days since I had been in the water, so I was struggling a bit and falling off my surfboard much more than I had in the past few weeks.  Then I remembered what he said and decided to surf as if I had nothing to prove. Not only did I start enjoying myself quite a bit more, but I started to catch waves more consistently.

How much of your life do you spend trying to achieve something in order to prove to somebody else or even to yourself that you are capable of something? Have you ever wanted to date somebody more attractive to prove to other people that you are capable of it?  Have you ever wanted a job so you could prove to yourself or to your friends that you could make a certain amount of money? Have you ever wanted to do something to prove to your parents you could accomplish it?  I know I have.  I’ve definitely fallen victim to the comparative and competitive disadvantage.  When you start a new job you operate from a mind set of needing to prove yourself, which basically is the equivalent of not being good enough for the job. I’m not saying don’t be motivated or don’t work hard to add value, but operate from the mind set of nothing to prove. If you are already good at what you do, then isn’t that the mind set you would have? The burden of proof, is exactly that a burden.

The burden of proof  is really a function of the ego. When I couldn’t catch waves consistently yesterday I started beating myself up about the fact that I had slipped in my skill level, and then for a few hours I stopped enjoying myself. But then I realized that the reason I was out to surf is because it got my mind off of things and relaxed me, and my thought process yesterday was the exact opposite. When you are concerned with the burden of proof your ego has really taken over whatever you are doing. It’s a pretty vicious cycle to get caught up in and you will always feel the need to prove yourself. Let go of the need to prove anything to yourself or to others and you will ride the waves of life with ease and consistency.

Tags: ego, burden of proof, learning, accomplishment

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