Social Media Lessons Taught By My 26-Hour Incarceration

A few weeks ago I was held in a detainment facility outside London. Long story short, I came over for five months with no return ticket and let’s just say immigration had a big fat problem with that. I had lived here before, was staying with my boyfriend and generally could make no case I had any intention of leaving. I did, of course, but due to a variety of ridiculous factors I would have been deported back to my connecting country (Iceland of all places) and sent back home.

I was locked in a holding room in Gatwick airport for most of my stay, but it was the 3 hour journey in an armored car with 8 escorts that really did my head in. You can go here for the entire story, but the reason I’m guest posting s because there are a crazy amount of lessons those two days taught me about relationships, predicaments, social media and how I run my business.

Before you pee your pants from excitement over whether I got out okay, I did. It took an insane amount of patience, hard work, two days without sleep and a small army to aid in my release, but I was released. Ready for the social media metaphor? Cuz here it comes.

1. Be determined. No, seriously. Really determined.

The first 12 hours of my incarceration were spent crying in a puddle on the floor. That, and on the phone to my mommy. The shock of being held against my will, told I was going to be deported and then shipped off in a bullet-proof van was so extreme and so out of my reality that my brain shut down.

It wasn’t until my crazy (and by crazy I mean amazing) mother stepped and said, No. This is what you’re going to do, and proceeded to give me a list of instructions on how I was going to be set free that I actually snapped back into the real world.

One letter from a very powerful media man, one £600 ticket home, two bank statements, one denial of appeal and fifty-odd desperate phone calls from my boyfriend later and I was finally allowed entry into the United Kingdom.

You can definitely navigate social media without selling your soul to Twitter, remember that not one size fits all and you’ll probably mess up 100 times before getting it right. Don’t give up after a month. Don’t give up after a year. Don’t give up because you don’t have 1,000 followers or aren’t getting a ton of traffic or no one is retweeting your posts.

Read as much social media advice as you possibly can, learn from experience and stick with it. You will eventually find your way.

2. Be the nicest, most charming person in the history of the world. Then be nicer.

As soon as I started charming the pants off the guards, escorts, drivers and immigration officers, my prison experience was significantly more pleasant. Out of all the crying masses of people in the slammer, the guards seemed relieved to be dealing with someone who was cheerful in the morning and wished them a good day. Despite being in an armored car.

Sure, you can have a personal brand that’s bitchy or frank, but you can never be outright mean. Why? Because no one will help you. No one will want to spread the word of your awesome service/blog/podcast.

Be yourself, be funny, be a little crazy, but always be nice. Ever heard of Twitter karma? I promise, it exists, and it’s important you realize this sooner rather than later.

3. Stop freaking out and be patient.

Patient does not mean lazy. Work hard. Be determined. Don’t give up. A miracle won’t happen but you will see results if you actually do the crap that needs doing.

After the first 12 hours on the floor were over, I got over it. I accepted the fact that I would be deported and gave myself permission to calm down. When you’re in the right frame of mind you can accomplish a hell of a lot.

Stop comparing yourself to every person on Twitter, Facebook and the blogosphere. It took the successful people ages to get it right and it will take you ages, too. If you push too hard people will notice and no one likes a desperate tweeter.

And speaking of pushing

4. It’s not about how hard you can push; it’s about how many people on the outside are pushing for you.

There wasn’t a hell of a lot I could do from the clink. The pay phone didn’t call out, it’s not like I had internet access, phone numbers off the top of my head or money to bribe people with (lesson: fly with British pounds already in your wallet). This all meant I had to rely on my parents, boyfriend, family friends and general acquaintances to help me out. I had to give up control and watch those relationships turn into something.

This doesn’t you can sit back, relax, and let other people do the work. Hells to the no. It does, however, mean your social media success depends entirely on your relationships. It means you need to seriously pay attention to lesson #2.

You can sell, sell, sell all the live-long day, but it’s not until people start retweeting you and attesting to your mad skills that you actually start to see results.

Here is your homework for the week:

1. Engage with someone you haven’t before.
2. Be incredibly nice.
3. Nurture that relationship.
4. Be patient.
5. Watch that relationship and every other one help you grow.

If you keep these lessons in mind social media will seem a little less daunting and a lot more fun. Pinky swear.

BIO: Marian, 23, is a blogger, technically a social media thug for authors (consultant is a boring word) and has a bad case of the Quarterlife Crisis. She’s got the travel itch too moved from New York to London and is headed to New Zealand in December. As much as she hates to admit it, her posts at marianlibrarian.com are usually about social media and the freelance life. When not blogging about blogging she helps people rock out on Twitter (but also secretly wants to be a pastry chef slash author slash farmer in the woods).