I am 23 years old and in my third year of an undergraduate course. I have had either top marks or barely a pass and nothing much in between. It has been the same story my whole life. Every teacher I have ever had has said that I am a paradox, really capable but consistently unable to focus and deliver the work. I am a very logical person and have overcome a lot of these issues (usually when it is too late) but the more pressure and responsibility rises, the worse it gets, so each successive stage of education has presented me with a whole new level of challenges.

I was (not)diagnosed with IBS when I was 16 because the doctor was useless but it didn’t matter because for the first time in my life I know why I was sick almost every day at school and collapsed in pain with stomach cramps for as long as I could remember. This meant that every time I couldn’t focus on school/college/uni work, I had no choice but to block it out because otherwise the stress of it would set my IBS off. I have spent years of my life drifting from distraction to distraction, sleep to tv, never realising that there was anything I could do to help myself face the work I couldn’t do.

Then yesterday my mum calls and tells me to look at this site on ADHD: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_adult_symptoms.htm

It was incredible. I highlighted everything that seemed to fit me and more of the page was highlighted than not. I called my mum back and she told me that she had done the same thing. She had reached the age of 53 having drifted from thing to thing feeling as though there was something wrong with her. She has now started to follow the self help guide section of the website and is hopeful of gaining some control over her own life for the first time.

I am happy that she has found a practical use for the label and the website but I just don’t know what it means for me yet. It feels silly. It feels like an excuse. All I have are questions that in all likely hood can only be answered with time: Now I know this, how do I attempt to integrate it into my own sense of self?; Should I integrate it into my sense of self or should I just use what I can and ignore the rest?; Now I have a label and strategies for overcoming my obstacles, will every future failure be my completely fault?; Do I need to be diagnosed for this discovery to help me?; What if the doctor isn’t helpful?; What if they say it’s not ADHD?… The list goes on.

I have made an appointment with the doctor and I am looking at using some of the organisational techniques on the website but it all just seems a bit too much… Just because I now have a label it doesn’t change the fact that all I want to do is go to bed and shut out the chaos of it all.

Sorry to put a downer on your positive post. I guess it’s just been an odd 24 hours for me. I find your positive outlook inspirational and I no longer feel alone, Thank You!!!!

ps. “Ordinary lives are for ordinary people. I was never meant for that. My life is supposed to be extraordinary.”… Truer words were never spoken… I have said something similar to myself often, I just hope I can live up to it.

Take care.

This post summed up my entire life so far. I just… man. No words are coming. I feel you on the ADHD, and what’s weird is that even reading posts like this kicks my ADHD into high gear. I get way overstimulated and then open 28 tabs in my browser on the topic, then realize I can’t read them all so I just walk away and eat a cookie. Then I go film something. Maybe next week I’ll get to the tabs, seriously.

Thank you. THANK YOU.
Tyler Hayes´s last blog ..Explaining the Constant Depression of a Millenial Futurist

Two of the things mentioned above stood out to me.

1)Doing the same thing, the same way over and over yields the same results. Maybe, in a way, the recession is a chance for all of us to just take a moment and think rather than diving headlong into the wrong thing again.

2) Your IBS thing (and my arrhythmia) was definitely a huge sign that something was wrong. I know a lot of people back in “dream country y” who tried to mask these things by using medication and whatnot, but…when you have to start popping pills to keep working and you’re only in your mid-20s, you gotta know something is wrong.

You mentioned Berkeley…did you graduate from Haas? Was that a good experience for you? I ask because I’m applying to some b-schools myself.

Take care, man.

Then I’m in until I’m a popsicle and can’t even pop up. 3,4,5 hours, no problem.

Welcome to the world of the professionally unemployable. Our inability to “front” coupled with our ability to Get Stuff Done makes us increasingly unpopular with the Smoke and Mirrors brigade.

Regarding, the surfing intervention, when I heard somebody say they though it might be ruining my life, I nearly lost it, and then I realized (that’s not very surfer like). So, instead I wrote about it

Most of us who live with “blessings in disguise” would just as soon NOT have them but, since that’s not an option (as Lori pointed out), I guess the next best thing is to focus on the blessing part.

As an aside, I love the idea of a surfing intervention!

@Lori: Thanks for the comment. When I was thinking about this post on my drive back to my parents house today I was thinking about Steve jobs graduation speech@Stanford and how the dots always connect, but only when you’ve connected them altogether. When you are in the process it seems like a puzzle with pieces that don’t seem to fit.