How our reactions to events can impact our destiny

Larry Joseph Burrows: Destiny’s a pretty big concept, when you think about it. Where you are in life, how you got there, what would have happened if one thing or another had been different.

One of the most important skills that can dramatically  improve the quality of our lives is our ability to control our reactions to what happens in our lives. Yesterday, I was watching the movie Mr. Destiny with James Belushi. In case you don’t know the story, let me give you a brief synopsis. It is James Belushi’s 35th birthday and he’s somewhat unsatisfied with the quality of his life. When he was in high school he played on the baseball team and in the all-state high school baseball game, the fate of the team of came down to one batter, Larry Burrows(James Belushi’s character).  On the final pitch, he actually ends up striking out in front of the whole town. His reaction to this event completely changes the trajectory of his life. In fact he spends most of his time convinced that if that one event had changed, his whole life would be different.

Then Michael Caine comes along disguised as a bartender and gives him a glimpse of what it would have been like if that event had changed.  Note the dialogue below between the two character:

Larry Joseph Burrows: How can my life change so much just because I hit one stinking baseball?

Mike the Bartender at Universal Joint Bar: Well, you see Larry, one’s destiny is a very complicated thing. Every incident in a person’s life affects everything else that follows it. Instead of missing the baseball, however, you hit it. Then you became a hero, married the prom queen, and so on, and so forth, until you find yourself exactly where you are. So you see, hitting that baseball has spun your life off in an entirely new direction.

What’s important to note here is not necessarily that this one event could change everything, but that Larry’s reaction to this incident has completely changed.  With a change in his reaction comes a change in circumstances.  We may not have a choice for how certain events unfold in our lives, but we can certainly chose how to react to events.   It’s important also to consider the fact that circumstances wouldn’t have turned out the way you expected if an incident had been changed:

Larry Joseph Burrows: Is there anything else that’s gonna come as a shock?
Mike the Bartender at Universal Joint Bar: It all will, to some degree.
Larry Joseph Burrows: To what degree?
Mike the Bartender at Universal Joint Bar: You’ll see. Things have changed, Larry. You have to take the bad with the good. You didn’t think everything was gonna be perfect, did you?
Larry Joseph Burrows: Well, I… I…, I suppose not.
Mike the Bartender at Universal Joint Bar: This is your life, Larry. Learn to enjoy what you’ve got.

Mike the Bartender at Universal Joint Bar: Your destiny has been changed, Larry, by request, I might add. And you must take responsibility for the circumstances of your new life. They are, after all, of your own making.

What’s interesting here is that despite the fact that an event Larry wanted changed has been changed, he still has to make  choice in how to react. His overall reaction to the new event was one of confidence and success and thus the circumstances of his life changed dramatically. Eventually he is returned to his normal life and starts to appreciate what he has. The real lesson here is that if we chose to let it, our reaction to ONE event in our lives can make a huge difference.  For Larry Burrows, the one event of not hitting the baseball had such a deep impact on him, that it continued to impact his life up until his 35th birthday.   We all have events in our lives that we have chose to react to. For me it’s been not finding a job after graduation and living at home. I could either crawl into  a hole or start to focus on what’s the best that could happen?

Tags: destiny, reactions, indiffference, fate, circumstances

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