The same folks who put you down today, or criticize you when you try to start something new, or don’t present much verbal support(you know what this feels like), are the same folks who will later want to be on your team. They will want to work with you, or deal with you, or something of that sort. Regardless of if this is always the case, this is how you want to think when you feel a lack of support from certain folks.
People Only Attack You Because You Are Someone Worth Attacking
People don’t attack trees, or show a lack of support for trees. This is because a tree has no sensation of being attacked indirectly. On the other hand, we as humans can feel when someone is against what we are doing. We feel it very quickly when they are around. While it is often advised to distance yourself from these folks, that is a concept for a different article. Here, I would mention that you can feel a lack of support because they see you as bringing enough energy to be worth countering.
No one goes to a poorer area than their own to put the people who live there down. It doesn’t make any sense to us, and that is because there is nothing worth attacking for someone who is not as poor, which equates to having nothing to gain from the attacking or lack of support. On the other hand, going to a person who is richer, or more intelligent, or esteemed in some advantageous way, is the activity of those who want to try to benefit from the exchange.
They Will Come Back, So Don’t Worry Too Much
Don’t get too caught up in what some folks might be saying to you now, as they can be suffering from a host of issues. They might actually think they are helping when they are not, which is at least good because that means there is good intent there. They could also be looking to tear you down as competition, not realizing that building themselves up would be the better way to go. Regardless, you do fine when you stick to focusing on your efforts.
When the same people who didn’t support you during your period of effort, or even attacked you at that time, return to join with you when you obtain a noticeable level of success, there’s no need to make them feel bad at that point as well. Realize that their non-support of you actually caused them to not do as well, and you can possibly offer them some assistance, but not the kind like you provide to those who saw you building self-discipline and stuck with you.
Examples Of This
There are loads of examples of this type of occurrence. Many famous people talk about once having been mocked for what they were doing, or ridiculed for being outlandish in some way, and about how they now have to basically avoid all the attention they get. This is how the system works. There is a hidden wall between you and the person who has gotten to the point where they are needing to avoid people to protect their usage of time. You can cross this line by focusing on your efforts, even with downers around.
Armen Shirvanian writes words of wisdom about mindset, communication, relationships, and related topics at Timeless Information. You can follow him on Twitter at @Armen.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Armen – I enjoyed reading this. You are pointing out responses that are both emotional and promotional. That said I am not sure I agree that some people don’t attack others unless they are “worth” attacking. I think we see that all the time in this country and all over the world. Minority groups are regularly attacked by majority groups simply as a way of keeping that group “down” to maintain power. I am sure you meant this in a business setting but even then I have still seen more powerful companies “attack” the smaller guy simply to keep them where they want them because of some perceived threat. Your larger point, in regards to those needing you later does reasonate in a business context.
On a side note there are a lot of martial arts principles that are worth exploring here that you have laid out. You have given me something to think about for a future post myself, so thank you.
@Armen: Thanks for the guest post. I’m glad to have you here. I think you make some very valid points. Often, when you starting making changes, people will often feel threatened because you are doing something different. They will tell you that what you’re doing makes no sense. But like you said when they see you succeed it more or less shuts them up or gets them to join your cause. I know there are probably many people from my school who thought much of what I’m doing online is ridiculous and not effective. But, I’m hitting momentum in a way that can’t be stopped.
Marc – Thanks about the article. Interesting wordplay there about the material being emotional and promotional. I see both of those. You do have a valid point there about the minority and majority groups. I would say I was more referring to those folks who we pass along the way, who start attacking us out of fear of being forgotten or outcompeted. You are right about some larger companies simply buying out smaller companies to remove that type of competition.
That is also cool about the future post potential related to this message and martial arts. I always like seeing follow-up or connected material.
Srinivas – I appreciate being able to post here. People sure do get threatened when you start making changes, because it changes their life as well. We have a bigger impact than we usually think we have, but that doesn’t mean to get stuck doing less because we don’t want to upset everyone. Let them be upset until they adjust.
That is a good example about folks from the school. Some probably want to be doing what you are doing, but don’t have the boldness. I’m not saying all do, but certainly some from the school do, but will not likely say it. We sometimes forget how many risk-taking steps we crossed to get to a certain point where we are, and how some folks stopped trying at one of the very early risk-taking steps.
I hear you about momentum and a high-five goes to you for that.
Armen Shirvanian´s last blog ..What You Do Is As Intricate As You Make It
I like the different take on this subject and also about being ‘worth’ attacking … sometimes what frightens us most is our light!