A few days ago I was with a friend and we were talking about jobs and he mentioned the idea of wanting a job that “looks good on paper.” It got me thinking about how much time I’ve spent pursuing a life that “looks good on paper.”
A Life that Looks Good on Paper
A few weeks back I talked briefly about why nobody can tell you what path to chose. Unfortunately as a society we actually encourage pursuit of a life that looks good on paper. I come from a community that drills this into your head from the time you are old enough to start thinking about school. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me to find a second grader who is making plans to go to Harvard. Here’s a broad strokes view of this path:
- Attend Berkeley, Harvard, Stanford, Princeton, insert top 20 school of your choice
- Get your first job at a consulting firm, investment bank, insert prestigious first job or go to top grad school, med school or law school
- Work for a few years and return to top school of your choice
- Return to the working world for a more prestigious job
I got the first step of this right and then I f#$#d the rest of it up completely. I didn’t manage to get a prestigious job out of college. I also ended up at a second tier grad school. If people ask what I do for a living, it sounds like I have a job that’s kind of “made up”. The funny thing is that I’m finally feeling like I’m succeeding and doing well in my job. Sometime ago I gave up the pursuit of what looks good on paper. I came to the realization that there is tremendous power in creating your own definitions for success and failure.
The Life That Actually is Good
For many people, a tanking economy has made them realize that they’ve hated what they were doing and they have started to create a life of their dreams. For others, they are basically eager to get back on the path of a life that looks good on paper by submitting resumes and trying to get their foot in the door at some big name company so they can continue their climb up the corporate ladder.
Ego Driven Pursuits of Impressive Credentials:
When I look back at why I wanted that life that looks good on paper it was largely driven by my ego. I was a complete victim of the comparative and competitive disadvantage. The average person in my circle of friends is a doctor, lawyer or graduate of a top business school. All of these are “prestigious” accomplishments and I felt like I needed these. Alas, I will never be any of these things because this is all in the past. My best bet is to focus on today.
When I look at the life I lead, I realize that if I had the life that looks good on paper, this is actually what it would look like:
- Work 80+ hours a week
- Take a vacation once a year
- Have lots of money that I never get to enjoy
- Keep thinking about the fact that I hate what I do
In comparison, this is what it actually looks like
- Surf Everyday
- Do work that I enjoy so much that I don’t even think in terms of time
- Have plenty of money and numerous opportunities to grow my income
- Keep thinking to myself “I can’t believe this is my life, it’s awesome.”
Rewarding Conformity
For a long time we’ve rewarded people for fitting in and this really is the gist of what Seth Godin talks about in his most recent book, Linchpin. The people who got ahead were the ones who showed up, didn’t challenge the status quo, and did their best to fit the company mold. We rewarded people more for effort than we did for results. Personally I think if you work 80 hours a week and don’t accomplish anything you’re not a hard worker, you suck at managing time. Today we’ve finally stopped doing that and the people who’ve spent their life trying to fit in are faced with one of their greatest challenges, thinking for themselves.
The Best Time In History
For those of us who struggled to fit in, struggled to keep up, and always felt that our calling was something different, our time has come. All of the limitations of technical knowledge, access to information and more are on the verge of being completely wiped out. The fu#$#ups, misfits, and troublemakers, are some of the most successful people around. I’ll leave you with one final thought. Before you pursue a life that looks good on paper, make sure you know what it’s actually going to look like in the physical world. Be careful that you haven’t bought into an ego driven illusion that has been programmed into your mind.
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I don't really consider it an ego thing. I consider this a peer/family pressure sort of thing, based on cultural ideals which people rarely question. Following this path means living your entire life for mom and dad or your friends. Unless you really want to be a banker, Doctor, or lawyer (and some people do), you're probably going to be unhappy, and define yourself by the Mercedes in the driveway or your Armani suit.I wonder how many people with 6+ figure businesses or careers are unhappy.Note: I am not suggesting that a Mercedes or Armani suit is not worth having. They are. But, if you obtain these things not because you want them, but to please others, you are going to be miserable. You can't run from how you truly feel;you engage in self-sabotaging behavior if you do.P.S. As someone who basically did "everything wrong", living this sort of life will not be an option, and I am not willing to settle for misery, barely getting by, or mediocrity because career and prestige was not valued, but seeing what a prison it is, I am glad I think differently.
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