Words, experiences, and events in our lives all have some meaning. With words we learn what they mean, usually by looking them up in a dictionary. With experiences we define what they mean by using the dictionary definitions of the words we use to describe the experience. With events we combine the meaning of words and experiences and the result is some sort of emotion, negative or positive. If I told you that definitions in the dictionary were complete bullsh#$# you would probably think I was out of my mind. What most people don’t realize is that how we define words, experiences, and events is a choice. The problem is we’ve never been made aware of that choice. Conventional wisdom teaches us that a word means what the dictionary says it means, and if we came up with our own definition then we would get a bad grade in class. If we use the definitions of other people to interpret our experience, then to some degree they are controlling our experience. If it sounds like I’m losing my mind, keep reading. How you define words, experiences, and events ultimately leads to feeling good or bad. How you feel will determine how you act, and how you act will determine the results you produce.
Feel bad ==> Act bad ==> Crappy Results
Feel Good ==> Act good ==> Positive Results
So, how do we feel good and continually produce positive results? It’s simple. Define the meaning of words, experiences, and events so that they make you feel good. In fact, the easier you make it for yourself to feel good, the easier it is to produce more positive results. Tony Robbins gives a great example of this in personal power II. He contrasts two men, one who says “any day I’m above ground I’m successful” and another one who has a list of a certain income, a certain weight, a certain emotional condition,, and a whole laundry list of other restrictions that enable him to feel successful. The more conditions you create in order to feel successful, the more difficult it is for you to feel good. The less conditions you create, the easier it is, and the better the results. Throw rationality and conventional wisdom out the window and make up definitions that make it REALLY easy for you to feel successful and REALLY hard for you to feel like a failure.
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I love this, Srinivas! I think it’s so, so important for us to create our own definitions of success and failure. If we don’t, we’re constantly living by others’ rules and who wants to do that?!
Of course you’re not out of your mind. In fact you possess a wisdom that many will not gain in the duration of their life. Words are invented by man to give, at least, a little interpretation of what we perceive; but words will never be accurate enough to define what’s inside our heart.
The problem with words is that each person based his/her definition on experience. That’s why confusions arise when we use the same words and act in contrary to the expectation of the other–just as you have illustrated above.
A dictionary definition of a word may be absolute but a persons interpretation depends on his/her character. You have a deep understanding Srinirao.