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7 Things That Won’t Be Mentioned in Your Eulogy

The Day  was When You walked with Me, My World found its Speech in Your Voice..
Creative Commons License Photo Credit: Reji K. A via Compfight 

“You know, the Greeks didn’t write obituaries. they only asked one question after a man died. “Did he have passion?” – Jeremy Piven,  Serendipity . 

Every now and then I contemplate my own mortality. I don’t mean in a morbid or twisted way. But when you think about the fact that you are eventually going to die, it gives you an opportunity to consider what truly matters in your life.  Even though worrying is a huge waste of time,  many of us spend our precious lives in a state of constant anxiety. It might bring some peace to your life to realize that none of those things you worry about will go in your eulogy.

1. The Grades You got in School

The other day one of my friends who is in college was telling me how frustrated he was with his grades. I said “don’t worry, your GPA won’t be mentioned in your eulogy.” I never got good grades in college, and amazingly enough that has served as a great foundation for my work on The Skool of Life. I’m not saying don’t study or don’t work hard. Just don’t worry so much about your grades in school.

2. Your Bank Balance

Money is important. Without it you’re screwed. It’s absolutely necessary to put a roof over your head, food in your stomach, and enable you to have many of the experiences that lead to a meaningful life. But worrying about your bank balance doesn’t cause it to grow.  Nobody is going to print out your bank statement and read out the balance at your eulogy.

3. Material Possessions

I’ve said it before and  I’ll say it again.  You can collect all the cars, houses, boats,suits, purses, and gadgets in the world. But you can’t take a single one of them with you when you die. If you can put a price on it, it’s not worth as much ash you think. Choose a life of experiences of over one made of possessions because nobody leaves this world with a thing in their pockets.

4. Your Employment History

I’ve had a tumultuous career made up of IBS, ADHD, and uphill career battles. It’s taken a while to realize that I was a corporate misfit. It’s the past and it doesn’t really matter anymore. If anything it’s the fuel for my creative fire. People might talk about the kind of employee you were at the company you worked at, but nobody is going to recite your employment history during your eulogy.

5. Parking Tickets, Late Fees and Other Ridiculous Fines

This one is actually a bit of a joke. If you’ve lived in San Francisco, Chicago, LA or any other city that has a department of parking ant traffic, then you know meter maids are evil. I’ve spent so much money on parking tickets in San Francisco that I think the department of parking and traffic should build a statue in my honor.  As awful  as these stupid fees and fines are, they won’t get mentioned in your eulogy. (If it’s any consolation I think that meter maids will pay their karmic debt)

6. Klout Scores/Twitter Followers/Blog Subscribers

As bloggers, we’re constantly trying to raise our Klout scores, increase the number of followers on twitter, and grow the number of subscribers to our blogs. It’s not as important as you think. In fact nobody really cares. What’s more important than any of those things is whether or not you’re making a difference? That’s what people would talk about in your eulogy.

7. Failed Relationships

Unless you’re a complete hermit who never talks to another soul during your existence on this planet, you’re going to have some failed relationships. You’ll lose friends, break hearts, and burn bridges. It’s a part of life. But unless you were an asshole to every single person in your life, nobody is going to mention your failed relationships in your eulogy.

That’s what I’ve come up with so far. But I know there’s got to be more. So add to the list in the comments below and together we’ll take this opportunity to figure out what really matters.


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