A few years back I worked with a life coach and he told me that I shouldn’t get too attached to success if I wanted to keep repeating it. Until this past weekend, I didn’t quite understand what he meant.
This past weekend I went surfing in San Onofre, CA . With waves coming in between 5-7 ft, sometimes slightly bigger, it was an absolutely awesome day. Of the whole day about, 20 seconds made the hour long drive worthwhile. In that 20 seconds, I caught a fairly big wave and was riding it for what seemed like an eternity. I remember the look on my friends face as he saw me flying past him. He smiled knowing that in that moment I was in a complete and utter state of ecstasy, known in the surfing world as being stoked. It was clearly some of my best surfing since I started. That 20 seconds made my day and ruined my day all at the same time. For the rest of the day, all I could think about was how good that wave was. All I wanted was another one just like it. No matter what I did, I could not seem to muster up a repeat performance. After 4 hours it finally hit me. I had become completely attached to my success.
6 Signs of Attachment to Success
You’re Not Present: If there’s any one thing that I realized held me back for the rest of the day, it was lack of presence. I wasn’t present at all. I was living in the moment of my perfect wave. But I should have been living in the present moment if I wanted another perfect wave.
You abandon fundamentals: What absolutely amazes me looking back is that I did actually catch about 6 more waves, but I wiped out on nearly every single one. There were moments where my board was flying at such speed that I felt like I lost control. I had completely forgotten the one simple adjustment that makes a big difference, bending my knees. It’s really tempting to want to abandon the fundamentals and just get caught up in trying to recreate your success, but if you do that you’ll likely build a house cards and fall from grace.
You do things that you know don’t work: Timing is a really big part of catching waves. It’s literally fractions of a second that make a difference in how well you ride a wave. I found myself attempting to take off at all the wrong times just because I was so desperate to recreate that awesome wave. The amazing part is that I knew that there was no way what I was attempting wasn’t going to work. So, why the hell would I do this? I was attached to the outcome.
You stop having fun: While it’s rare that I don’t have fun when I’m in the water, I was starting to get really frustrated that I could not get back to the level I was at in those previous 20 seconds. When you stop having fun with what you’re doing, then you really are not going to succeed. Even if you do succeed it’s not going to be very fulfilling.
You continually compare to a previous success: I’ve seen so many people do this in my life. They continually compare a new experience to a past one. While it’s good to learn from our previous success, if we keep comparing, then we really can’t evolve past where we are today.
You go nuts over a minor setback: Minor setbacks are a part of any successful endeavor. But, when you get caught up in a minor setback and it consumes you, then you give it the power to turn into a major setback.
The Quick Version:
- Live in the moment
- Do what works
- Have fun
- Don’t take shit too seriously
- Realize it’s all just part of success
How attached are you to your success? You might be surprised at how your attachment to success is keeping you from performing at your best.
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What an amazing article. There are many things here that I do not really want to hear, but I do need to hear them.
I have forgotten to have fun, and every setback lately just makes me feel depressed, which of course means I don't work on what I need to do and just waste my time shopping or watching inane movies or TV shows.
Thanks, I really appreciate the *loving* kick in the backside!
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