5 Warning Signs That You’re About End Up in a Job You’ll Hate

2212413169 41248cd50b 5 Warning Signs That Youre About End Up in a Job Youll Hate

Maybe it’s because I dealt with IBS, ADHD, and uphill career battles for such a long time. Perhaps it’s because in the past when I didn’t it end up coming back to bite me in the ass. These days I just tend to trust my gut instinct far more than ever before. The other morning I was in a second round interview for what I thought could very well put an end to the search for my social media dream job.  I didn’t mind the potential 13 hour work days. I didn’t mind what would be an extensive amount of travel. I didn’t mind the fact that I would probably be a one-man band expected to produce like a grammy winner. Those things didn’t bother me in the least.

But about 30 minutes into it I was overcome with a very familiar uncomfortable feeling. “I don’t fit in here and I get the sense I’d be setting up myself to fail if I took this job. Every time I’ve felt this way in the past, I nearly ended up getting fried from my job.” As I heard words and phrases such as “casual friday”  and “if we say 8:00, we don’t mean 8:15” I couldn’t help but start to feel imprisoned and feel that my creative abilities which peaked their interest in the first place would be stifled by forcing square pegs into round holes. It seemed clear to me that one of the guys in the room had already made up his mind about me and if I did get an offer I’d be facing an uphill battle from the day I started.

Your Gut Instinct is Usually Spot On

Rather than listen to our own voice, we tend to listen to the voice of reason or even worse the voice of others. As a result our own voice gets drowned out, and we start putting on a front to gain the approval of others.  While I do think soliciting opinions of people who are credible is worthwhile, I think that the way to end up with the most favorable circumstances in your life is to trust your gut. When you don’t it usually backfires.  This doesn’t just apply to jobs, but to nearly everything in your life.

5 Things That Will Cause You to End Up in a Job You Hate

A while back I wrote a post about why so many people hate their jobs. That post in large part  was about how broken the hiring process is. While I still do think the hiring process is broken, I think that job candidates also tend to play an instrumental role in ending up in jobs they hate. A few months back I was talking to my dad about an upcoming interview and he had some of his own advice to share. It got me thinking about what role we play in ending up in jobs we hate.

1. Act Interested

Without knowing anything about the position I was applying for, my dad said “make sure you act interested.” It got me thinking about just how often people act interested in a position even when they’re not.  A tough job market has caused people to do things they might never do and completely forget about the difference between settling and settling down. This is a recipe for disaster and ultimately your lack of interest will show in the quality of your work. So don’t act interested if you’re truly not.

2. Chase Money

I’d be lying to you if I told you money didn’t matter to me and that it wouldn’t play  any role in a decision I would make about what job to take. But, don’t forget that being a paycheck player can be detrimental to your future. I lost close to 5 years of my life for an extra $5000 a year. That being said, if a position has a salary that would barely enable you to live, then it’s worth the wait for something better.

3. Tell the Interviewer what they Want to Hear

I think that most people are not truly honest during interviews. They prepare scripted answers, rehearse them, and put on act in hopes that the hiring manager will like them.  Even if you do manage to get a job offer under this scenario, the whole thing is a sham. The foundation of your relationship with that person is based on a series of lies. Ultimately there’s no way that’s going to lead you down a successful career path.

4. Desperation

Some people believe desperate times call for desperate measures. I believe that there’s tremendous power in hitting rock bottom. Out of desperation we tend to make extremely poor choices, so choosing a job out of desperation nearly guarantees that you’ll not only hate your job, but probably not be very good at it.  People rarely tend to focus on the creation of value when they are desperate. They are more or less in survival mode, and end up doing just enough to get by.  It’s also likely that if you choose a job out of desperation you’ll be starting the job thinking about when you’ll get to leave it. Take a look back at some of the signs of career success and failure that I learned form my friends job search a year ago.

5. Prestige

I hate to say it, but there are people I know who believe that a big brand name on their resume is the key to their kingdom. I even told a friend once that I could probably go and offer a group of MBA students a job at some big company, tell them the salary, and without even telling them what the position was, most would gladly accept. Of course the joke would be on them because they would get paid 90k a year to clean toilets at Disney, Google or insert big company. These people are completely caught up in the ego-driven pursuit of a life that looks good on paper.

I think that you have to be honest with yourself and with your potential employer if you want to end up with a job that you love and you’ll be good at. If you do any of these 5 things your foundation for the future is essentially a house of cards.  So, before you start preparing for your next interview, give some consideration to how things might turn out if you actually were authentic.

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Sanju 5 pts

i head recruitment for a company and absolutely agree with you.

Stephanie Barnes 28 pts

You did some great points here.Absolutely,I always listen to my gut feelings.Because of that I'm single again hahaha!Keep it up!

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skooloflife 119 pts moderator

Joanna Wilson I'm unemployed because of following this instinct, so I'm right there with you kind of. Ultimately it's what's going to lead to a happier healthier life.

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b.nijhoff 35 pts

Haha this is a great article. I really like the title because it seems so familiar. I love the points you make here. Keep on the good work!

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ET3D 5 pts

I think that gut feeling is useful, but sometimes the early gut feeling is wrong. Some people are different during an interview than they are when you work with them, and some people I didn't like that much up front when I interviewed ended up being some of the nicer people I worked with.

What I think is important when I interview is to clarify expectations. I just started a new job, and when I interviewed I made it clear that as a father to two small kids I don't intend to do overtime very often, and when the contract said I'm expected to travel often, contrary to what I was told, I got that toned down. So yes, I agree that you should never tell the reviewer what he or she wants to hear (except when showing technical knowledge :), but rather make sure you two know exactly what the other is expecting. Granted sometimes the employer will tell you what they think you want to hear, and then you're in trouble (and the gut feeling might help).

skooloflife 119 pts moderator

ET3D You make some great points, especially in terms of technical knowledge. I think that part of telling an employer what they want to hear is that you're not honest about your expectations. I know I have certain things about a working environment that would drive me crazy. When you walk into an office and just walking through the door sucks the life out of you that's not a good sign. When you are upfront about things you avoid trouble down the road.

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Amyra 6 pts

Hey Srini,

I'm definitely for listening to our gut feelings. I've learnt some pretty painful lessons in the past from ignoring those seemingly irrational signals by body sent through. Now I know that they were messages from my heart, which in turn were from my soul. Do I listen to my soul, or my ego-based mind? I always go with my soul nowadays. I think it's okay to go with ego if we make the decision consciously and with full awareness. The problem tends to come when we fail to reconcile the conflict we have inside us around it and we end up telling ourselves lies to convince ourselves of something we deep down know isn't our truth. But if we were to calmly weigh the pros and cons, factor in all our bodily signals, be honest about what we're getting into, then it can be an empowered choice as well.

Great post as usual.

Amyra

skooloflife 119 pts moderator

Amyra So true. I think that making decisions bassed on your ego is the curse of youth. When we're young we're excessively concerned for what people might think about us, and the the work we're doing. We do things for approval instead of fulfillment. But a few hard knocks and it gives us a wakeup call.

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Mike626 6 pts

skooloflife, interesting article. I was a little distracted by your use of the worked "peaked" "...that my creative abilities which peaked their interest in the first place..." in the first paragraph. In this instance, "piqued" is the correct homophone.

http://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/352725

skooloflife 119 pts moderator

Mike626 Thanks for the pointer. Hope you enjoyed the article. Will make that edit right now.

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Dudeman 6 pts

While I agree that it's important for an individual to be their own person with their own unique identity. I would caution against "listening to your gut".

I've had bad luck in the past when it came to listening to myself rather than others around me. it's made me look like a fool and lost me thousands of dollars and time I'll never get back.

I believe people should be brave, take risks, and embrace their true identities, but I don't think people should just dive into anything because they "feel it ring true".

in my experience, the worst case is the only case; so pragmatism and a healthy dose of skepticism go a long way.

skooloflife 119 pts moderator

Dudeman The things that happen to us in our past can often shape our approaches for how to do things. I’m not sure I agree that the worst case is the only case. But your decisions are probably based on your experiences and mine are based on my own.

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lokirampant 5 pts

Dudeman I think the author was more implying to trusting your gut if you have a negative/hesitant reaction to a job opportunity, not necessarily spinning headfirst into it based on a positive reaction. The psyche tends to be more accurate when finding things suspect. I rely on my instincts a lot more when they are warning me *off* of something and a lot less when they are saying "go, go, go, yay". I don't know if this experience is common though.

skooloflife 119 pts moderator

lokirampantDudeman Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I think it's great that we're having an interesting discussion with multiple viewpoints on this. I've gone against my instinct for so much of my life and it's come back to bite me every single time. The few times I've trusted it I've been spot on. I wrote a post a while back about leaving a job in two weeks. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think that was the exact right thing to do.

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Vishnu's Virtues 11 pts

Srini - desperation and money do have a lot to do with why people do jobs they shouldn't be doing.If people stopped searching for jobs like throwing darts at a dartboard and actually took some time to figure out what they wanted to do, they will be a lot more successful in it in the long run. Not everyone has the luxury or life circumstances to do that initially but everyone can definitely make their way out of jobs they hate to jobs the love.

skooloflife 119 pts moderator

VishnusVirtues I know what you mean. I did that when I got out of college and for the larger part of my career. I will admit that I have some advantages that many people don't in that I'm don't have the responsibility of a wife and kids. But I think that people who are willing to make short term sacrifices for a long term gain, ultimately lead more fulfilling lives. Hopefully we're headed in a direction in which people make choices that align with their values.

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FitnessReloaded 5 pts

Act interested...Omg, don't people do that all the time? Not just in job interviews, but also in personal conversations..?

They may act interested to hear another person's story (when they are not), or in politics (just because everyone else talks about it, so there is pressure to participate in the conversation).

skooloflife 119 pts moderator

FitnessReloaded Yeah, I think thats's where you get some serious authenticity issues. It's sad, but there's truth to what you say. AS much as we'd like to just walk away.

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Julie | A Clear Sign 58 pts

Srini,

You are SO right here. Yes I write about following your intuition, but it is amplified when you are talking about commiting to where you are going to spend 70 hours a week. I am sorry to say that I know exactly how you felt - this is wrong, this doesn't fit, this is not me, and that person in the corner already hates me. Oh well. As long as you listen to your intuition you cannot fail.

skooloflife 119 pts moderator

Julie | A Clear Sign I think so many people fail to trust that intuition. It's funny because it's not something you can necessarily put into any sort of explanation. All you can say it's just a "feeling" and that's all I can really say about it.

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maureenp 5 pts

Srinivas,

I couldn’t agree more. And I’m thinking of this right now from the employer’s point of view.

Interviewing people is exhausting and time consuming. But, it is so much easier when people are honest with themselves and me, and brave enough to speak their truth and ask the hard questions.

Please don’t just tell me what I want to hear. Please don’t act interested if you’re not. In fact, the sooner you realize that the job is not for you, please let us both know so we can both move on. Please don’t take the job just because you like the money or the prestige of the job. Please don’t take the job out of fear.

When these things happen in an interview it’s usually pretty obvious and the biggest downside is the waste of time and energy until it becomes clear. But what’s worse is when people actually take a job they don’t love and it’s just a slow downward slide until the inevitable happens.

Maureen

skooloflife 119 pts moderator

maureenp Too many people just put on an act and then wonder why they hate their jobs. To me this is a recipe for disaster. I think that when you take those kinds of jobs you're setting yourself up for failure.

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karenzg3 5 pts

I also find that the older I get, the more I decide to go with my gut instinct. Drives my husband crazy since he's very analytical, but I truly believe it serves me better than anything else. I just think there comes a time in our lives when we all realize that what we've been taught isn't all that accurate. Whether it's working hard and being loyal at a company, being a team player, doing what management asks, or whether it's paying your bills on time, maintaining a good credit score, whatever.....it often no longer leads to the happy ending. So just go with your gut, do what YOU feel is right for YOU, and live life as a thoughtful, caring, ethical person. If nothing else, it allows you to own your life. That, in itself, can often lead us to feel fulfilled and happy.

One of the perks of aging, I think: You become much more comfortable in your own skin and aren't trying to live in someone else's skin anymore.

Your posts always make me feel like I'm not alone out here. Thanks.....

skooloflife 119 pts moderator

karenzg3 I"ve gone against my gut instinct for so long and when I finally started following it, things got better for me. I was happier and more fulfilled in everything that I did. We get scared to pass opportunity out of desperation even though in our hearts we know that it would be the wrong decision. I'm glad to hear that you identified with my post.

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